Hard Days

I knew I shouldn't have woken up the moment I did so this morning. I had a pit in my stomach the likes of which only BP has ever had to try and plug up. My whole morning started off that way. Just with this overwhelming sense of depression sweeping over me, and I could barely find a reason to eat.

Funny how that would happen on a Tuesday. I swear I usually schedule those sorts of things for Mondays. Guess it was late or something.

Anyways, it was uninvited, but there wasn't any real thing I could do. It's not that I had a bad day either. On the contrary, I had a good day. Short classes, got my homework done, big cookies. No real reason why I would wake up and feel like I should have been put under.

Just one of those days I guess.

And for about 2 hours I sat there, doing almost next to nothing, but trying to figure something out that I could get my head around that would drag it out of that pit I had going. But it was like trying to pull up the Titanic, as she's sinking, with a rowboat. Uphill battle doesn't accurately describe it. It was a sheer 90 degree cliff battle with volcanic rocks spewing down from above and Zues throwing thunderballs at the wall where I'm trying to grab. It was a partial dose of what I think hell would probably be like for happy people.

But I'm an atheist, so no hell for me. I get disappointed by  that fact some days. Like this morning.

This morning I would have welcomed bad news. I kept expecting it to happen. I kept expecting a test to occur, or something to go wrong, or my homework to be wrong, or lunch to be bad, or my girlfriend to be unavailable to talk.

Nope.

Day went fine. In all actuality it was pretty great.

I was talking with my girlfriend and she mentioned she was doing math. Something about bases of 10. I don't even know what that means to be honest, and I never want to to be more honest.

I told her I wish I was with her, and she said but she's at work doing math and that's no fun.

I said darn life. Kinda how my day had felt to me, to be honest. I was in an apathetic devil may cry sorta mood and I was okay with it. Life could go screw itself for being so stupid today, and it honestly just sucked.

She laughed, and said we should love life.

And it struck me.

My day had gone well. Better in fact. The only downside was that I had woken up with this terrible pit and I had been trying to get out of it. It'd spoiled the day. Oh, that and being sick. That sucked too.

But even with the pit, it was still a great day. Sure, it was hard, and it was most definitely trying to motivate myself to do any of it, but I got through it. And it was worth it. I hung with friends, lived life, and nothing actually went wrong. I even had Skittles.

I guess what I'm trying to say is even if life sets you up to fail, it doesn't mean you will. That could be just the after effects of having watched Gattaca talking, but I tend to agree with that assessment nonetheless. By the way, for those of you who don't know what Gattaca is, it's a movie, and it's really quite great.

Much like my day.